Cold hands, warm shart.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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