Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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