somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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