i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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