Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
