last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
