so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
