There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
