Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
