now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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