Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
