you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
