Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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