i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
