i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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