Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
