you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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