I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
