you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
