this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
