He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
