I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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