Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
