you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
