I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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