I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
