He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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