Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
