Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yo dont text me then not text me
I cockslap morals
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
