Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
