I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
