don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
