thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
