I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
