Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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