i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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