I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize