I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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