Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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