u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
