Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
