Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
