I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
