It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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