The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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