let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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