what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
