office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
