i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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