There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
