i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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