Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
