glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
