i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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