That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
