Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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