So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
false alarm, still single
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
