what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my poor anus
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
