everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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